Warning: This review contains spoilers for The White Lotus Season 3, Episode 5
“Shia LaBeouf!” Did you know that means “cheers” in Russian? I didn’t beforeThe White Lotusseason 3, episode 5, “Full-Moon Party”. Last week we got the pregame and this week we get the party. Mystery drugs, shots, skinny-dipping, guns handed over in handbags, and I’m not talking about the one Tim (Jason Isaacs) hid in his pants last week; we’ve got it all. In the words of another HBO character whose family business could have used a resort like the White Lotus in their multimedia portfolio, everyone is going nut-nut.
We’re over halfway through the third season of Mike White’s comic tragedy. By this point in Maui, Armond (Murray Bartlett) had relapsed, and in Taormina, Cameron (Theo James) and Ethan (Will Sharpe) had partied with the Italians. Things move a bit slower in Ko Samui. It’s a wellness resort after all.But the stories have quietly wound together in season 3, and in episode 5, they are tightened together like a drawstring bag.
The Full-Moon Party Is As Wild As Promised
Valentin And Jaclyn Get Close While Laurie Sleeps
Episode 5 picks up rightwhere episode 4 left off. The Ratliff boys are off to a Full-Moon party on a boat filled with booze; Jaclyn (Michelle Monaghan), Laurie (Carrie Coon), and Kate (Leslie Bibb) are partying with Valentin (Arnas Fedaravicius) and his Russian friends, with shots of booze; Piper (Sarah Catherine Hook) tells her parents she’s going to live in Thailand for a year, shocking Victoria (Parker Posey) so much she’ll need double the Lorazepam. Oh, wait, she’s out. Booze to help her snooze, it is.
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Saxon (Patrick Schwarzenegger) may be a big dog at whatever fraternity he was in at Duke, but Chloe (Charlotte Le Bon) and Chelsea (Aimee Lou Wood) have been around the block a few times, and he’s out of his league, especially when the bag of unknown drugs comes out. Lochy doesn’t hesitate, however. I’m not sure how the little guy is packing away so much champagne and the buckets of liquor, buthe’s impressing his older brother, and scaring him a bit too.
Jacklyn and Laurie do their damnedest to keep up with the Adonis-like Russian bros. Two were in the ballet; the third flipped tires. Any workout is a good workout, I suppose. Kate remains achingly unnerved by the whole situation, and though she smiles while pouring wine down Laurie’s throat, she eventually moms it up and sends everyone to bed. I wonder what she would do if she found out Valentin stayed back to get comfortable with Jaclyn. Better yet, I wonder what Laurie would do? Something tells me this exact show has played many times before in their “friendship”.
Rick Gets Some Help From An Old Friend
Pornchai Makes Sure Belinda Doesn’t Sleep Alone With Greg On The Prowl
While some party, others' Full-Moons are markedly less celebratory. Rick (Walton Goggins) is in Bangkok. It feels odd having Rick be off on his own, away from the White Lotus. I’ve enjoyed him since he arrived on the island smoking a cigarette, but his sojourn is feeling a little Ozark-y for my taste. At least he gives us a chance to meet an unexpected arrival in the form of Sam Rockwell, who’s gone on his own journey since getting to Thailand.
Goggins' open-mouthed gawking as his old friend dumps his explicit and deeply personal story is absolutely hilarious and oddly tender.
He wanted to bang everything; then he wanted everyone to bang him; then he wanted to be himself; then he wanted to be the Asian women he slept with; then he decided he wanted to be a Buddhist. Now he doesn’t drink, have sex, party, or kill, presumably. Though he still knows how to get a gun for Rick. Goggins' open-mouthed gawking as his old friend dumps his explicit and deeply personal story is absolutely hilarious and oddly tender. He’s there for his friend, even if he has no clue where his friend is in life.
Sam Rockwell has been in a relationship with Leslie Bibb since 2007.
That scene alone may have nabbed Goggins guest of the week, but it’s Belinda (Natasha Rothwell). Sorry, it just is. Well, Chelsea was great cutting down Saxon… nope, it’s Belinda. Rothwell is a total joy. Fabian (Christian Friedel) innocently lets Belinda know that “Gary” has been asking after her, but when she whisper-screams everything she knows about Greg and his late-wife to the timorous general manager, including making a stabbing-motion that is going in my personal “I hate this thing” repertoire, Fabian not so innocently tells her she shouldn’t gossip about guests.
To add insult to injury, a big ol' lizard is hiding in her room. Can’t Belinda have a win? Yes, she can. Jaclyn isn’t the only one getting a house call in episode 5, asPornchai (Dom Hetrakul) and Belinda share a lovely kiss after she asks him to spend the night in case of lizards (or LBHs). The pregame was invigorating, the party was a blast, so I guess that meansnext week onThe White Lotusis the hangover. Better take some Lorazepam, if there’s any left.
